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| The 3-Question Quiz That Changed a Father’s Life Forever |
How well do you actually know your children? If your child gave you a surprise three-question quiz about their life right now, would you pass or fail?
That is the exact reality that faced Arjun Sen, a high-powered corporate executive whose world turned upside down the day after September 11. Forced to take a rare day off work, he used the free time to ask his eight-year-old daughter, Raka, what she thought of their relationship.
Her answer? "Not good."
When a stunned Sen asked her why, Raka challenged him with three simple questions. It was a moment that sparked the creation of his widely acclaimed 2009 memoir, "Raising a Father."
📝 The Quiz That Changed Everything
Raka looked her father in the eye and asked him:
- "Who is my best friend?"
- "What is my favorite restaurant?"
- "What is the best thing you and I have ever done?"
Sen got every single answer wrong.
As a Vice President of Marketing, he was incredibly successful at managing multi-million dollar brands, but he was completely failing at knowing his own daughter. Determined not to become a distant parent who only receives two "duty" phone calls a year, Sen made a radical choice: he quit his corporate job, started a home-based business, and dedicated himself to being present.
🌍 From India to America: Learning to Adapt
The memoir isn't just about modern parenting; it’s a beautiful crossover of cultures. Sen reflects on his own childhood in India and the lessons taught by his paternal grandmother. A woman of strict discipline, she taught him a universal approach to life. Though he was raised Hindu, when he questioned religion, she wisely explained it as a "way of life" rather than a rigid set of rules—encouraging him to find a path that truly suited him.
This wisdom guided Sen years later when he immigrated to the United States in 1988 with just $320 in his pocket. Within fifteen years, he had built a massive career in restaurant marketing—but it was his realization at home that truly defined his success.
🛑 Confronting Work Addiction and Single Parenting
At its core, Raising a Father tackles the messy reality of balancing a career with single parenting. Sen openly calls himself a former "work addict" and warns that career obsession is one of the greatest dangers to modern parenting.
He highlights the importance of looking out for emotional "wake-up calls." For Sen, a major breakthrough occurred when he discovered a hidden stash of photos of Raka's mother in her closet. Realizing his daughter was hiding a core part of her identity out of fear or regret, he adjusted his entire parenting strategy to ensure she always felt safe expressing herself.
His corporate advice to parents? Establish an objective way to measure the health of your relationship with your children, just as you would track the success of a business.
🎁 A Gift Shared With the World
What started as a highly personal birthday and Christmas gift from Sen to his daughter grew into a major collaborative publishing project. Together, Arjun and Raka selected the stories that would make it into print, intending to inspire "one parent at a time."
The book became a media sensation across North America and Asia, notably featured in a Father's Day special on TV Asia. During the interview, Sen perfectly summed up the meaning behind the book's title:
"It wasn't the daughter that needed to be raised; it was the goofball dad."
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